It seems impossible. We have been taught in covert ways that we are supposed to strive for perfection. Logically we know that it is impossible to be perfect however, there is usually still something deeply held in our body that cannot believe is true. When someone says it’s healthier to embrace our imperfection it almost seems like we need to fight that idea or that if we do embrace imperfection we have thrown in the towel.
I believe one of our biggest lessons on this earth right now is to embrace our imperfections and the sooner we do– the more connected and loving we will feel. Embracing imperfection means that we practice vulnerability and being open to sharing our struggles knowing that we are all human which by default is imperfect. I have become a more authentic human being because I have surrounded myself with people with whom I feel at home in my heart. This group of amazing beings is my beehive.
It takes time and effort to build a hive full of beautiful people, places, and practices where we can support each other, love ourselves and love one another. This love is available wherever we may be on this journey and whether it looks messy or not. A hive is a beautiful metaphor for doing hard work. Bees symbolize focus, dedication, hard work, teamwork, fertility/life, prosperity, and generosity. As my friend, Melinda reminded me, the feminine is in her element in the hive–it is a sacred place. We all have this queen bee energy within us and we don’t have to be Beyonce (cue Single Ladies) to channel it. We can begin to harness it by embracing our beautiful imperfect selves.
Let’s talk about some of the ways we have been conditioned to believe perfection is attainable:
1. Education system and how since such a young age we have been put in a position to compete for grades, athletic prowess, leadership roles, popularity, etc
2. Society/culture of your surroundings– often seeking status, we are all looking in some way to feel love and acceptance and then we succumb to cultural and societal norms like thinking that accumulating certain things will make us feel more worthy (clothing, degrees, vacations, houses) We all want the same things to feel part of the group and accepted
3. Media and what we consume all day long, perfect house, perfect body, perfect family, job, etc.
4. The beliefs of our parents, if your parent’s expectations were very high (let us be clear we are not blaming anyone we are becoming aware of conditioning)
a. All A’s and valued grades over work ethic, hard work, or struggle
b. If they expected things should come easy for you and they didn’t
c. If they emphasized how important it was to look good on the outside even if you didn’t feel good on the inside
d. If they were not comfortable with your feelings or their own and told you you should not feel sad, angry, or worried. We grow up thinking that something must be wrong with us for feeling that way.
5. Religion – (My experience is with Catholicism) we are sinners for not being perfect and need to repent for our human desires and behavior. We are judgmental against other religions thinking that they will not be saved, somehow we are special.
I want to assure you that perfection is not worth striving for anymore. It is time to try something else. Reminder insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Here is a little sneak peak of the book, first few chapters:
Letting go of what people think,
letting go of perfectionism
letting go of numbing and powerlessness.
Also, Brene Brown is brilliant, funny a great storyteller!
If watching the videos above, you are intrigued and want to dive a little deeper into the work. I invite you to buy the book and join the Gifts of Imperfection – Book club starting Sunday, January 22 @ 9 am. It will go on for 6 weeks, we will have assignments, process the book a few chapters a week, share our insights and takeaways, and commit to growing. Growth in a group setting is even more powerful. Can’t wait to see you and I look forward to welcoming you into the hive. You are about to experience an amazing freedom that grows when you begin to love yourself. Sign up now!