I am seeing an influx of teens struggling in these Covid times. This suggests to me that their parents may be struggling, too. It’s no surprise that when you shut down schools, social activities, and limit interactions many people will struggle—especially teens.
Girls spend hours of their day flipping their screen from tiktok, insta, vsco, snap, etc., keeping up with streaks and shopping online. ALL of these activities strip them of their individuality and cause them to constantly compare themselves to other people and the standards are often unattainable and unhealthy.
This behavior creates anxiety and lures girls into the “trance of unworthiness”. They think they need “things” to feel good about themselves. “I need these jeans or I won’t be good enough.” And you can replace jeans with other items: face cleanser, toner, bronzer, primer, moisturizer, exercise regimen, etc., with 3 teenagers in my house, I see the many forms this can take.
This is not just a female thing either, young men are just as attached. Males can use gaming as both a vice and savior. It can offer a great deal of interaction—albeit, through a screen. I see it daily in my home. It’s a struggle. The need for this jacket, these sneakers, to gather and be unsafe. However, I am more aware of and comfortable talking about women because I am one, and I understand them better. Just replace the following activities with sports, video games, etc for boys.
Humans thrive on meaningful interactions with friends. For teens, sleepovers (God, how I loved sleepovers), doing facials, nails, and just staying up late chatting with one another—being in the presence of other teens. Instead, today, we have socializing through a screen, which is not the same. Sadly, it was happening before the pandemic, the pandemic has just brought it to a head. We need to feel each other’s energy and feel the micro actions of a simple smile and how that resonates in our body. As humans, we need to realize the power we hold within ourselves. The sheer thought and energy of self-love, can help each person realize that he/she is enough.
But how do we help our kids make the shift from self-doubt to self-love? Here are some discussion points and action steps to guide them to a new mind-set that tells them, “I am enough:”
● Be more selective with social media: You don’t need to have a 1000 followers! Connect only to the people who truly care about your overall well-being. Think of how much of your time is spent responding to people you don’t really know.
● Take a step back from pseudo friendships: Ask yourself, “What are my values? Who in my life helps me live them?
● Get out in nature: Feel the wind, cold and sun. Lay or sit down and witness the beauty around and within you.
● Put the phone down!!!: YOU ARE OKAY WITHOUT IT. It has become your safety blanket—let it go. You are an amazing human being, and you do not need a slab of metal to make you feel safe. You know it in your heart if you just listen. Spend the time instead, focusing on yourself and REAL in-person interactions with people who feed your spirit and infuse joy into your live (socially distant, of course, but it is possible).
● Learn to value your OWN opinion: It is not your job to please anyone but yourself. Follow your own heart, not the crowd.
I urge you to start to pay attention to the space between your heart and your phone.
I urge you to see the power this piece of metal has over you. NO CAP here… take your own power back.
Parents: Does anything above sound like you? It’s okay to acknowledge that we as adults are struggling, too. Support your kids, listen to them without your own fear getting in the way, see their beautiful struggle. Remember, it is not your struggle, it’s theirs. Separate from it, and see your children for exactly who they are—another beautiful soul in a human experience on their journey. Most importantly, commit to doing your own work, so that your fears and conditioning do not impede your child’s progress.
Need some help getting started?
Jacquie is seeing clients both virtually and socially distanced. She will be starting a 3 month individual intensive for adults, “Self love through becoming Present” If you are ready to commit to yourself, please reach out for more information, Jacquie@projectmindful.org to set up a 15-minute discovery call.